I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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