**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
