I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
