I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
