I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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