right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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