Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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