he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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