I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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