everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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