Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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