In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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