Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
