It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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