I wanna passion pit in your ass
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
