So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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