Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation

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(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A

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(214): View more from Texas

What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.

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(302): View more from Delaware

in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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(214): View more from Texas

He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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(530): View more from California

for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

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(915): View more from Texas

He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.

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