I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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