Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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