Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
