she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
