were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
