I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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