I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
