Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
