you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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