I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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