I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
