Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
