just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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