where am i from again
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
