WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
