garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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