This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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