i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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