my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
