I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Someone signed my nipple.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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