im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
