well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
