garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize