kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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