I can tuck mytits in my pants
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
