How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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