I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
