Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize