I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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