The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize