I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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