Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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