I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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