Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
