Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize