Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
