Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
