She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize