she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
