"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
