Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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