Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
