I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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