we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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