omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
