why didn't you poke me back
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
