If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
