i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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