I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
