I got chris browned last night
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
