I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
