sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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