you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
